Birthday Binser Bushwack

For my birthday, I headed to NZ.  What better way to spend it, than with good beer, good friends, and good mountains.  I headed up Mt Binser with, my friend, Michael.  Mt Binser is near Aurthur's Pass and has some amazing views.  We headed up a nicely cut trail on a beautiful Sunday.  Like a typical Kiwi hike, it began with, almost, a vertical climb.  The NZ mountains don't believe in warming up. 

As we climbed to the saddle, Michael mentioned that it was time to turn.  Therefore, I looked around for a nice path.  We kept on going, while I looked for a path.  Then, my friend points out that there won't be a path, we were to smash our way through the bush.  Therefore, we headed through the shrubbery that you can see above.  This was not the thickest part.  Michael soon disappeared and I could only catch glimpses of a red jacket through the thick old man's beard (moss from the trees).  

 Well, we finally made it through to a better clearing.  Then, Michael told me that this seemed like the path.  As it turns out, it was the path because it was heading up.  Finally, we worked our way out of the beach tree forest.  The next section was a steep climb through brush, which contained a lot of Spaniards (a thick hard plant that is very poky).  My hand received a couple presents from the Spaniards.  Anyhow, we made our way to the ridge, which resulted in a absolutely beautiful view.  Snow could be found on the south side of the mountains, while the north sides were rocky. 

We made our way to our summit and then scurried on down the scree (which is oodles of fun because you can essentially ski down the mountain on shoes).  We made it to the car right at sunset, which was good because it was 5pm and time for beer and racks of lamb.  We headed over to Michael and Deborah's house for dinner, which was absolutely lovely.  They live in Lyttelton, up in the hills, in a 100 year old house. It was a nice cap to a great day.   

Is Australia actually a aviary?

 Most of the wildlife I have seen so far in Australia has consisted of birds.  First, we have the kookaburra, a bird that has a maniacal cackling sound, to quote Wikipedia.  Kookaburras are surprisingly huge.  For those who don't know, I stayed in a house denoted as the Kookaburra Nest by the owner.  Although, I saw minimal resemebalance between the kookaburra and my previous landlord.  The previous landlord was a comedian, and I suppose having a kookaburra constantly around laughing at him, would certainly boost his comedic confidence.  Hopefully, the laughter won't sound as maniacal to the comedian as Wikipedia states.   

Actually, while I was on the hike where I saw the kookaburra, there are also lyrebirds.  Lyrebirds essentially repeat what you say, but they look like peacocks.  I never actually saw any lyrebirds.  The noises I heard from the forrest during my hike were very strange considering the laughing and the repeating "Where are these so called lyrebirds?"

Next, we have the fairy penguins, which live, literally, across the road from my place.  I find penguins particularily hilarious and enjoyable to watch.  They just have so much trouble walking, it's hard not to be amused.  They are also adorable.  When I was in NZ, I saw a sea lion get onto shore by the penguins (they eat penguins) and I just can envision a sea lion flopping it's way across the beach while a penguin waddles back and forth to get away.  It wouldn't be so funny if the penguin is caught, but the image of the chase is amusing. 

Last we have a few extra birds that are fun to look at.  The first may be the inspiration for the fohawk hairstyle.  The next bird is apparently that same as Whiplash's bird from Iron Man II.  Finally, we have a colorful bird that would have a horrible time in a hide and go seek game.   

McCafe

Everyone should enjoy a nice McCafe in the morning, with a wonderful array of coffee and coffee-like choices. A day can't be started off right until the smell of a freshly brewed McCafe crosses my olfactory bulb. Right from the very first taste of the smooth, strong, arabica bean blend, I can feel the day blossoming before me.  The delicious, delectable beans are like a taste explosion in my mouth.  I feel like I'm ready for anything that the day will bring me, once I've had my McCafe.  Have you had your McCafe?

The Man Corner

A man's home is not complete until there is a man cave.  Some of us lucky men can make an entire apartment a man cave.  The highlight of my current place is my humidor and home brewing facility.  Right next to these items is food.  There is little more I could ask for.  I began attempting to brew my own brew.  The first attempt is a Coopers Stout.  Unfortunately, it gets quite cold in my apartment and therefore the beer would get down to 16-18 deg C, which is borderline for yeast.  They begin to mutate.  I keep hoping they will mutate into X-Men like mutants.  Little wolverines could probably make some tasty beer.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-like mutants wouldn't be bad either.   

However, I am hoping that they don't turn into Futurama-like mutants that live in the sewers.  Since I was concerned for the poor yeasties, I sacrificed my down jacket to keep them warm.  Priorities.  I also would occasionally turn my heater on to try to bring up the temperature for the beer, something I probably won't do for myself.  Luckily yeast produce heat as they metabolize.  I have since expanded my brewing operation to include a heating pad for the fermenter, but we will put that to the test in the next batch.  The beer tastes pretty good.  My next attempt will be for a American style pale ale.  I bought an extra 75 grams of hops to add on top of the normal recipe.  If I can get the alcohol and hop level up, I will have 23 liters of happiness.     

Foods and Food-like Items

 I came across sultanas while at the supermarket.  I picked them up, partly because of the packaging.  Anything that juggles its own species is A-OK in my book.  When I looked at the package, I thought:  sultantas -> sultan -> must be the leader of raisins, since the picture looks like a raisin.  I know it's scary to have insight into my thought process.   Anyhow, I had to try the raisin leader.  Sultantas are pretty good.  When I asked at work what they were, I heard that they were dried grapes.  Then I asked how they differed from raisins... and I got no answer.  Finally we came to the conclusion that they must be dried green grapes.  Regardless, they taste pretty much like raisins.  However, I keep buying them instead of raisins.  Again... the packaging/marketing does it for me.

 Next, we have kangaroo kebabs.  They may or may not look appetizing, depending on the reader.  They are in fact pretty good.  They taste like a mix between venison and beef.  It seems like you get many meat choices in Australia and I can't complain about that.  I have yet to see a kangaroo in the wild.  What I have noticed is that whenever you buy it in the store, it comes pre-marinated. 

Last, but not least, we have this appetizing can of tuna.  Tuna comes pre-packaged with many different flavors.  I actually really like that option.  I can buy a can and just bring it into work and it already tastes good.  There are a large variety of flavors: Japanese (ginger and soy sauce), corn and mayonnaise (seen in the picture and tastes much better than it looks), Tai Curry (self-explanatory), Mexican (beans and peppers), etc... The pre-packaged flavors is an idea that I hope will spread to the States, regardless of the unappetizing appearance. 

Now that you have seen the food varieties of Australia, aren't you enticed to visit the land of culinary delights?  Honestly, there are many amazing options and these foods all tasted very good. 

 I enjoy the little package of stuff that one gets when they get on an international flight.  It certainly beats the inappropriately sized pillows that you can get, but I won't get started on flight experiences again.  I was a big fan of the toothpaste that I got on the plane.  It was the tiniest toothpaste container that I have ever seen.  It made me feel like a giant and interestingly enough, I was reading Gulliver's Travels at the time.  Imagine little people that would be appropriately sized for this toothpaste tube.  I was also a big fan of the toothpaste brand toothpaste that they gave me.  I feel like I'm big enough when I'm on an airplane and then when they hand out tiny items like this and the tiny wine bottles, I feel even larger.  I wonder if there is really a tiny people flight that normally goes from Australia to America.  Imagine how much more comfortable the seats would be.  The little tiny dinners would seem like a large spread of food. 

When I arrived back in Melbourne, I found this car parked outside of my apartment.  It is the color of fast.  I need to find out who owns it, so I can become close friends with them.  Unfortunately for them, Melbourne traffic is about as bad as I've seen anywhere... except maybe L.A.  So, this car could accelerate quickly about 10 ft, and then test the braking power.  I would like to make a joke and say that this is free parking right here, despite the pay parking in the surrounding region, but this spot really is pay parking.  The joke being that they can afford this car, but can't handle the parking ;)  in case you, as the reader, missed the hilarity of the hypothetical situation.

The Windy City... Oh and a Conference

 I had a opportunity to ride on my first double decker train.  The train ride was quite nice and very inexpensive compared to the southern hemisphere.  The seats were clean and had no particular smell to them.  I took this train from my grandparents house into downtown Chicago. I had a chance to meet interesting characters, just like many mass transit experiences in the past.  There was a group of 30-something gentlemen sitting behind me that were enjoying a good after-work drink while on the train.  Interestingly, there is a ticket-person on the train that sells you the ticket, after you get on the train.  It's been awhile since I've bought a ticket away from a automated booth. 

The real purpose of my trip home and to Chicago was for a conference.  Interestingly, I waited to go to the conference until the last day.  I had a poster presentation at 8am, which is a horrible time for poster sessions, in my opinion... especially on the last day of the conference.  Poster sessions are unpleasant enough, by themselves.  I have to say that it felt a little weird to miss almost an entire conference, except for this part.  The beauty of the session is that they had a fair amount of free coffee right in front of me.  I did manage to hear a couple speakers after the poster presentation.  That made the trip more worthwhile, despite falling asleep during one of the less interesting presentations.   

During the conference, there was also a army conference.  There was some yelling from various conference rooms, which surprisingly enough was not the professors and medical doctors.  I also had to use the little cowboy's room while at the conference.. due to the free coffee.  I set my poster in a FedEx box outside of the restroom, as it seemed inappropriate to bring it with me.  One of the army gentlemen yelled in the bathroom, in a Sergeant-like voice asking who's box was outside.  I was the one citizen in the bathroom and I claimed the box.  He yelled back in stating that I should not leave a box with the army in the same building.  I guess I should have brought it in with me, despite my original opinion.  I'm not quite sure how I would have managed my business, though, considering men's floors are not the best place for setting absorbent materials, like boxes. 

Floppy Hat and Barefeet

This guy finally got out of school... well at least as a student.  I would like to say that my most expensive piece of clothing that I own is a down suit... but I can't... not because I don't own a down suit, even though I don't, but the down suit would still be less than the floppy hat and drapery that can be seen on a PhD graduate during graduation.  One nice thing about the suit is that it is easy to throw on with 1 zipper in the front.  However, where it loses some charisma compared to the downsuit is the fact that there is no buttock's flap in the PhD suit.  It also can't keep you nearly as warm. 

Lamb Leg and Bunnies

 It is/was Easter time again.  Traditionally, my family heads into Chicago and the brother-in-laws of the Wood family cook up a storm.  They cook one of the meanest leg of lambs in the northern hemisphere.  Earlier this year, I had the experience of trying to cook a leg of lamb in the land of sheep and mountains.  I was able to bring my expertise to the table, no pun intended. 

 Madeline had her first Easter.  What can be better for a first Easter than to be dressed as a bunny rabbit.  The rabbit is looked upon fondly in the Bark household, which is in contrast with the Mt Cook area of New Zealand, where a war between bunnies and humans is brewing.  Mmmm brewing.  I suppose there are many good beers brewing in that area as well, but now I'm getting sidetracked.  Mum made a wonderful bunny cake for Madeline.  Funny enough, Madeline is the only one in the family who didn't eat it.  It served as my pre-birthday cake as well.  We'll just say that it didn't last for more than 2 days.  Of course, neither did the Tim Tams that I brought home.   

For the first time on Easter, we strolled on over to the Charlie Bark residence.  I can always count on my uncle to have some good Wisconsin brewed beers in his refrigerator.  I think Donna may have changed Madeline out of the bunny outfit, for fear of my uncles, who happen to enjoy rabbit stew and would fit in well in the Mt Cook area of New Zealand. 

Madeline

First of all, happy Mother's Day to Donna and Mom.  This will be Donna's first Mother's Day, where she is the one being honored.

I headed home for Easter and for a conference in Chicago.  I was able to meet my new niece, Madeline.  Madeline likes sleeping, eating, and pooping.  We have a lot in common.  She also likes the outdoors.  She's going to be a great mountaineer one day.  I wonder if they sell baby ice axes and crampons.       

Also, why don't they make baby toys for adults?  The bouncy seat seems like a lot of fun. Madeline has an automatic swing that plays music and can swing in multiple directions.

I got to experience Madeline's second trip to a winery.

Luckily, for the readers, you can't see my face in the adjacent picture.  Apparently, Madeline enjoys goofy faces.

".. and don't call me Shirley"

I took the new huge Airbus back to the States to see my new niece and attend a conference.  The doubledecker is boarded from 2 different levels.  It's like a bunk bed, but instead is a bunk plane.  Luckily, you don't have to worry about farting coming from the other level... just the person next to you.  However, I think the airplane seat makers use a special fart absorbent fabric to make airplane seats.  The sound of the plane always disguises the fart as well.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all have pants made of airplane?  Pardon the puns, but when they speak of duty free, I think doodie free.  After 30 hours of travel... well let's just say I'm doodie free for a day or two.  I also enjoy when they say disarm the doors.  I think about how glad I am that the armed doors didn't attack me during the flight.  I also always wonder if they design airplane seats with a small, shared armrest just to see how passengers deal with it.  I always find that the best way to handle the armrest is to have 1 person take the front and one take the back.  Otherwise, the broadest shoulders tend to take control.  You can always tell the most polite people on the plane because they will have their arms crossed in their seat, trying to conserve space for their neighbors.  I tend to keep my laptop under the seat in front of me, so my legs are always squished back, with the knees up and then I tend to go with the crossed arms.  I wonder if one day airlines will try to just roll us into a ball or stuff us in a drawer during the flight.  The drawer option would actually be quite nice, I think.  Imagine being able to lay down the whole time.  I also find that the pillows they give you are always too huge for the seat headrest.  So either you have to choose to kink your neck back or kink it forward.  It's hard to get it just right.  Although, I've found that Qantas seats have headrests that fold out on the sides, so you can actually fall asleep without drooling on a neighbors shoulder.  As a side note, the Airbus in the picture had carbon fiber seats.  I felt really fancy and fast.  Lastly, I'd just like to bring up the bathrooms.  1 word, turbulence.  As a man, it feels like you're snowboarding as you're trying to get rid of the coffee and wine.